Our world is all about strengths. Maximize your strengths, stick with your strengths, play to your strengths. While I agree with some of the principles and concepts associated with the ‘strengths philosophy,’ I believe the most overlooked and underused strength is restraint. It does not take much skill, humility, or wisdom to engage brute force. I believe the greatest of all strength is the ability to harness that power and focus it in the right amounts, at the right time, in the right ways. It doesn’t take much finesse to demand my rights, publicly shame people into submission, or flex my influence in a way that dominates others through force or shame. However, it takes tremendous strength to absorb an offense, think about an appropriate response, pray for grace to separate the problem from the person, and move forward. That is tremendous strength and I see very few people these days strong enough to demonstrate it. What about you? Are you strong enough to use restraint?
One of the words used to describe Jesus in the Bible is ‘meek’. Though it rhymes with ‘weak’ it is anything but weak. Meekness means ‘strength under control’ and it is the greatest of all strengths. Think about it, when you see a parent playing basketball with their young child and lets them sneak by him for a layup is there any wondering if they could have stopped it? No. However, their greater desire is to build confidence in their child, encourage them to try even when the obstacle is bigger and more experienced, and that what they have to offer is valuable. Their strength is very present and apparent, it is just being mitigated by restraint for the sake of the other. Restraint is not just an exercise for parents. Restraint is for everyone who desires to serve and lead others by covering them in their weakness and giving them an opportunity to grow through trial. Even when they bring that trial upon themselves.
The Ultimate Example Of Restraint
We are coming into the Easter season where the Christian Church celebrates the resurrection of Jesus and His conquering of death. The love demonstrated by Jesus to die a criminal’s death after living the only perfect life to ever grace the earth is the epitome of restraint. Every time I consider the cross, it is not the pain of the nails that moves me the most but the arrogance and insults of those mocking Jesus that unnerve me. It is one thing to wound a man physically, it is another thing to to mock and shame him publicly. To know that Jesus endured both for my sake is an overwhelming reality. The recognition that he did it willingly and without retaliation is to confirm His Divine nature! (Click here to read my post, ‘The Goldilocks Gospel’)
In Matthew 26, Jesus Himself references the fact that He has all authority to call down legions of angels to overcome those that came to arrest Him… but He does not so that God’s master plan of redemption can be executed fully. In John 10, Jesus reminds us that no one is taking His life away from Him, but that He is laying it down freely, and will raise it up again! What kind of strength is this that allows itself to be defeated so that ultimate victory can be experienced by all? It is restraint, and it is desperately needed in our world today.
It is somewhat ironic that many school Spring Breaks take place in this Easter season. Even in a pandemic we are seeing images of south Florida packed with revelers. Spring Break is often celebrated for its utter lack of restraint in every sense imaginable. The idea of ‘casting off restraint’ sounds exciting and freeing. It always leads to bondage. It is human nature to take things to extremes and to throw caution to the wind. However, it is also the human experience to deal with loads of regret, shame, and debt because of our lack of restraint. We all want the benefits of restraint while living to the extreme, but it doesn’t work that way. We see the damaging effects of the lack of restraint in our nation today with our lust for more that has produced incredible debt, broken families, and orphaned children. Restraint is a strength we need more than ever. (Click here to read my post, “The Transformational Truth”)
Demanding Our Rights Can Be So Wrong
As long as we feel that restraint is a prison that violates our rights to personal happiness we will continue to destroy one another with our ‘strengths.’ But if we will embrace the cross that shows us how to lay down our rights for the sake of others we will start to see healing and restoration in the world around us. This is counter to our human nature but is made available to us through the cross of Jesus. (Click here to read my post “The Strength You Need to Be Content”)
We all have paid the price for indulging our strengths and forcing our way through life. However, the grace and mercy of Jesus not only frees us from that prison but also empowers us to offer that same restraint in our life circumstances moving forward. Your greatest strength will be found in bringing your strengths and desires under control so that they may be focused for the health and benefit of your family, your work place, and your entire sphere of influence. Be meek as He is meek and unleash the strength you have as you submit it to His control. Strength under control is true power. Invite the Holy Spirit to help you and watch what He does! Are you strong enough to use restraint? No. But with the Lord’s help you absolutely can and you, and everyone around you will benefit as result!
From the Bible
“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” – Proverbs 25:28 NIV
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” – Matthew 11:29 NIV
“Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword. 53 Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? 54 But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?” – Matthew 26:54-56 NIV