Everyone loves getting a gift. I think ‘free stuff’ may be one of my love languages! It seems like a no-brainer that while people may be reluctant to give in certain areas of their lives, most people are always ready and willing to receive. When it comes to material things there’s a better chance of that statement being true. However, I have found that when it comes to things like love, kindness, encouragement or sympathy many people are simply unwilling to receive. Why is that? Are you that way? Chances are that all of us have areas in our lives where our willingness to receive is very low and it likely has to do with disappointments or hurts we’ve dealt with in the past. If we were starved of empathy or encouragement early on in life it’s possible we convinced ourselves we don’t need such things so we shut down those areas of our hearts to keep from constantly being disappointed. The problem is, other people in our lives need those things from us and you can only give what you have received. Have you ever wondered why you feel unable to offer something someone close to you is needing? The problem may not be with your effort. It may be that you haven’t let yourself receive enough compassion or mercy to have any to offer anyone else? Therein is the issue and maybe you’ve never considered it. Thank God, there’s a way forward.
Human nature is pretty arrogant an independent. It is in our fallen DNA to not want to be told what to do or how to feel. We would rather fix things ourselves or deal with our problems quietly on our own. The problem is this approach doesn’t work. It is like trying to do brain surgery on the back of your own head. The longer we reject help or love, etc., the longer we will struggle to be healthy enough to offer it to anyone else. When we won’t open ourselves to receive, we continually become discouraged by our inability to give. The next step in the enemy’s plan is to isolate us from others because “we’re not helping anyone anyway so we might as well just go away”. Can you see how the devil uses this tactic to steal, kill, and destroy? I’ve seen it a thousand times and yet the most heart-breaking part of it all is that it still works. The issue isn’t that you need to run away. The truth is, you need to allow yourself to break. A clinched fist is effective at not allowing something to get out of your hands. The problem is it is equally effective at not allowing you to be able to receive anything either. (Click Here To Read ‘About This Time Tomorrow’)
You Can Do This
The approach I want to suggest is to quiet yourself before the Lord and ask Him “why do I have such a hard time offering _______?” You fill in the blank with the attribute in which you feel deficient. Chances are He will show you a time in life where you stopped allowing yourself to receive the very thing you are struggling to give. It may be the smallest, most (seemingly) insignificant little event in your life. But remember, the oak tree in your back yard started out as a seed you could pinch between two fingers at one point. Hurts we don’t deal with properly grow over time. Invite God to heal your heart and reveal Himself to you in the part of your life where you were hurt. Ask Him to break open your ‘clinched fist’ in this area of your life. He understands it is a defense mechanism we use to protect ourselves from being hurt again. However, HE is your defender and is much better at it than you are. When we try to defend ourselves from being hurt we actually shut out the very things we need, as well. When we allow ourselves to be broken before God we allow Him to protect our hearts while still allowing His love and approval to flow freely. (Click Here To Read ‘You Don’t Do A Promise, You Receive It’)
No, you’re not the worst. No, you aren’t a monster. Chances are you have been hurt like the other 100% of the human population and instead of inviting the Lord to heal you, you tried to protect yourself (or the one that hurt you) by deciding to not feel anymore. It was a trap and we’ve all fallen into it at one time or another. There is a way out and there is a way forward. Stop trying harder. Stop beating yourself up for being “a failure.” Invite the Holy Spirit to meet you in those places where you shut down. Ask Him to increase your ability to receive the very thing you feel unable to give and watch how He fills your cup to overflowing! Then, it won’t be you offering your best attempts at love or kindness. It will be you offering the overflow of unlimited mercy and grace you have RECEIVED from The One who has an unlimited supply to give.
So the question comes down to this… are you willing to receive? There is unlimited joy for you and those around you on the other side of your “yes” to this question. Jesus is for you today and so am I. (Click Here To Read “The Power of Saying Yes’)
From The Bible
Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. – John 16:24 NIV
“But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” – John 4:14 NIV
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. – Romans 5:5 NIV
Here’s a message I shared on this topic called ‘Operation’.