In a world of virtual everything, it can be easy to slip into the mindset that everything can be handled remotely. Truly, we are all thankful for the options that are afforded us because of the internet and our interconnected society in times like these. However, just because we can do school, order food, shop, and stay in touch with friends online does not mean that life is now “post-proximity.” The old adage on the raffle ticket is more prophetic than we fully realize. In relationships, leadership, care, and a myriad of other aspects of life, you must be present to win. You cannot mail it in, and you cannot sub it out. But what does that mean?
Family is an example of a God-created institution to help reinforce this concept. While it has been abused, misrepresented, and at times so dysfunctional it is no longer representative of its intended design, family was God’s idea to represent presence, care, love, hope and growth. Family cannot be done remotely. You must be present to win. Why? Because what is transferred, expressed, and imparted in such a relational environment is beyond information. Sometimes what we need in a certain situation is beyond functional, practical input. I recently heard Bob Goff say, “Some of the best advice I’ve ever received was a hug.” So very true. Proximity matters. Whether it is in family, friendship, or work you must be present to win.
Maybe I Am What Is Wrong?
Sometimes we begin to downplay this truth because we do not truly recognize the value and honor that our presence carries. We can easily discredit what we have to offer or trick ourselves into thinking that the best thing we could offer our family, friends, co-workers, or employees is distance from us! Now, there certainly is time for space and no one loves being smothered, but do not believe the lie that vacating the premises is the best you have to offer. Don’t allow yourself to disappear into your phone or to retreat into your head for hours, days and weeks on end. Your face brings so much to the space! (Click here to read my post “Miles Apart in the Same Room”)
Have you failed in an area and let others down in your home, at work or at school? Own it. Call it what it is. But do not disappear. That is a lie form the enemy designed to destroy your destiny and the destiny of others. You have so much to offer, and you offer so much that is needed. To be successful in life, family, relationships, business, or whatever, you have to continue to show up. You must be present to win. Maybe it’s time to perform a reappearing act?! But how? I’m so glad you asked.
Annnnd We’re Back!
If you have abdicated the throne or “slipped out the back, Jack” then it is time to humble yourself and reintroduce yourself to the scene. Your reentry will depend a lot on how you exited. Did you get your feelings hurt and quit the team? Did you get preoccupied with other hobbies and leave the office without clear direction? Did you feel disrespected by your kids so you just quit talking? If it was a slow fade, then slowly reemerge and take an interest again, acknowledging along the way that you allowed yourself to get distracted and that you want to right that wrong. Again, humility is the key. If you had a big blow up and pulled a George Costanza, then it may take a bit more time to rebuild trust but the time to start is now. Delay deepens despair. Start taking steps immediately. (Click here to read my post, “Relationships Are Always Worth Restoring”)
The worst thing you could do is demand your rights or lecture people on how they should listen to you now that you are back in the saddle. That won’t go well at all. However, if you will simply humble yourself and answer as many questions as are asked of you with honesty and sincerity, you will start the very important journey or reestablishing credibility. Stick with it. After all, the goal is it show up, and consistently making yourself available to answer hard questions is showing up. Over time, your voice and your presence will again be seen for the incredibly valuable thing that it is. If you discount its value so will everyone else.
Hang in there. We all fail and we all face the temptation to run and hide. It started with Adam and Eve and we have all dealt with it to some degree ever since. Not only is there no one in the world like you, no one else in the world IS you. In your work, on the team, in your class, with your friends, among your family, and especially with your spouse, you must be present to win. And when you win, you help others win, and that means we all win. Show up. Stay in it. You are making a difference, and life is just so much better when you are present. You must be present to win. Get back in the game. There is so much at stake. God is for you today and so am I! (Click here to read my post, “Luck Is Actually Pronounced Hard Work”)
From the Bible
This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. – John 15:12-13 ESV
A friend is always loyal,and a brother is born to help in time of need. – Proverbs 17:17 NLT
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9 NIV