“Everybody needs a little time away…” Peter Cetera and Chicago said as much in their famous song “Hard to Say I’m Sorry.” However, there is a tremendous difference in taking some time to pause, reflect, and be refreshed in healthy solitude versus isolating oneself from everyone as a habit. I recently took a little time away and I was reminded again of how powerful it is to have a time of solitude. Most of us know we need to “slow down” or take some “me time” but do we actually do it and have we made it a priority in our lives? Today I want to encourage you to embrace the spiritual discipline of solitude and am hoping to show you why you should and how you can!
First, we must recognize the obvious, and somewhat ironic truth, that it is hard work to stop. If you’ve ever taken a family vacation then you are aware that by the time you pack, get things in order at work so you can be away, and wrangle the schedule and the kids enough to simply get in the car, you are worn out! Yes, stopping will take a lot of work. However, not stopping means you may not know why you are doing some of things you are doing anymore since you haven’t taken time to evaluate your life, refocus your priorities, and live with intention. One of the things that has been produced during the global pandemic is many were forced to stop their normal routine. While that has been very challenging for many, for some, it was the first time in a long time (if ever) that they reevaluated what they were doing and why they were doing it. If we are looking for sliver linings (and I often am) in such a challenging season then this may be one of them. (Click here to read my post “Do You Trust God Enough To Rest?”)
Yes, it is hard work to stop, but it is good work and good work brings a reward. Not only do we need time away with our families to be with each other, live, laugh and love life together, we need time alone to evaluate our lives, to rest, and to hear from God. You may have never done that? You may feel that is selfish or strange? My challenge to you is to prioritize and plan a three day retreat for yourself, at least once, and then see what you think afterwards? Purposed, focused solitude is very different form isolation. Isolation becomes a character trait where we insulate ourselves from vulnerability or needing others. Solitude, is focused time of vulnerability, recognizing our need to be renewed and refreshed SO THAT we can be more available and engaged. There is a tremendous difference and all of us need that kind of investment for ourselves and for the sake of those around us. (Click here to read my post, “I Have Decided To Stop”)
So how do we do it?
3 Ideas to Help You Proactively Stop and Embrace a Time of Solitude:
- Give Yourself Permission
Often we don’t stop because we feel guilty. We realize our absence will place more demand on others so we refuse to give ourselves permission to stop. There is a beautiful sentiment inside of this idea that has simply gotten twisted. If we truly care about those around us then we want to give them the best version of our ourselves. The best version of yourself is on the other side of purposed time away to reflect, renew and refresh. If you want to give that to others, then give yourself permission to pursue it.
2. Put It On The Calendar
Maybe you aren’t sure how to do this or are waiting for the perfect circumstances that will make it easy for you to be away. That is not going to happen so simply find three days (or more if you can) and put in the vacation request, rearrange your work schedule, put some projects on hold, and put it on the calendar. You can sort the details along the way. If you wait until you have everything figured out and have found the perfect, dream escape location to retreat to you won’t ever get there. Put it on the calendar.
3. Create A Basic Plan For Your Time Away
Now that you’ve given yourself permission, and got some dates on the calendar, give yourself a few, very simple, goals for your time of solitude. It can be as easy as, deciding on a book you’re going to read, setting some basic exercise goals for each day, and creating a prayer list of things you know you want to cover while you are on your own. For some, this will help you feel there is some structure and order to your time. For others, it will help you feel that some things were accomplished during your down time. Even if you just need to catch up on sleep, having some very basic goals of ‘take a walk and pray each day’ will keep you from getting to the end of your time and wishing you had been more purposeful. Create a basic plan for your time away and it will prove to be a great help. (Click here to read my post, “Are You Strong Enough To Use Restraint?”)
When we do not proactively take some time for solitude it can cause us to want to isolate form people within the flow or our normal lives. This is a symptom of your need to pull away without giving yourself permission to do so. Don’t let that weigh on your health, your relationships and your work. However you do it, take some time away for rest, solitude, and renewal. Every time I have done this I have felt closer to God, more alive, less like a robot, and have come away with new ideas, fresh vision, and a lighter spirit. Does that sound good to you? Then take steps now to invest in yourself so you can offer others your very best. Selah.
From The Bible:
But now even more the report about him went abroad, and great crowds gathered to hear him and to be healed of their infirmities. 16But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray. – Luke 5:15-16 ESV
The word of the Lord came to him, saying, “Go away from here and turn eastward, and hide yourself by the brook Cherith, which is east of the Jordan. It shall be that you will drink of the brook, and I have commanded the ravens to provide for you there.” – 1 Kings 17:2-6 ESV
The apostles *gathered together with Jesus; and they reported to Him all that they had done and taught. And He *said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.” (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.) They went away in the boat to a secluded place by themselves. – Mark 6:30-32 ESV