Empathy is an important aspect in life. It is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Without empathy we can be cold and calloused to the hurts, failures and fears others have which can make us seem aloof, disinterested or simply uncaring. I place a high value on empathy as I see it in the life and ministry of Jesus. Jesus had compassion on the crowds of people that were following Him. He understood that they did not know what to do or where to turn. I believe we should be able to do the same. However, as much as I value empathy I have often hit a snag in feeling for and caring about others. Many times I have gotten so enthralled in their pain that I have fallen into their same pit by surrendering the peace I had before I began to process their problems. Like the blind leading the blind, this is no help to anyone. So how do we show we care without surrendering our peace?
Lessons From the Lifeguards
Growing up on the Gulf of Mexico, I knew many people who would work as lifeguards on the beach. Years ago one of those life guards explained to me how they saved people who were drowning in the gulf waters. When someone needed help the life guard would swim out to the person carrying a float and rope. The lifeguard would get close to the person but not close enough to be touched. They would throw the float and rope in effort to help them get their head above the water. However, if the person simply couldn’t manage to grab the float the lifeguard STILL would not swim to them. They were instructed to not let the persons touch them. Seems harsh and unkind doesn’t it? (Click here to read my post, “Boundaries Bread Down Barriers”)
These lifeguards would literally let the person drown. Then the moment they quit fighting, the life guard would lift the person’s head above the water and quickly swim to shore and pump the water out of their lungs in order to resuscitate them. Wow. So much drama! Why not just grab hold of them when they were trying not to drown in the first place? What I was told is that a drowning person has one goal… to breathe. Therefore they will fight, punch, claw, and even hold the lifeguard under the water in order to get their breath and since they are already drowning, if they drown the lifeguard, then they both have lost hope. Are you seeing where I’m going with this?
Standing Firm With A Broken Heart
If we truly care for others and want to see them be well we have a responsibility to steward our own peace and not surrender it to emotion or accusation. Some will accuse us of not caring enough. Others will think we are cold or indifferent if we don’t join into their despair. But we must hold fast to the hope that we have so that we can offer it to those who have lost theirs. Surely, with God’s help we can care deeply, exercise understanding, empathy, and even weep with those who weep… but not as those who have no hope (1 Thess 4:13). We have been given a peace that transcends all understanding that will quite literally guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus as we rejoice in the Lord, demonstrate gentleness and submit our anxieties to Him (Phil 4:4-10). (Click here to read my post, “Standing Firm In A Climate of Fear”)
I have found myself praying throughout the day for friends who are hurting and struggling right now. Interspersed in those prayers have been the declaration that I refuse to surrender the peace I have been given. God has helped me identify how often I have simply let it go thinking I was somehow being more caring by doing so. I refuse to do it anymore. How about you? Today, I encourage you to lay hold of the powerful peace of God that gives rest to our weary souls. And when we encounter circumstances and situations that are heavy and heartbreaking, care, listen, pray and connect, but do not surrender the peace God has given you… share it! Then, prayerfully, both of you will find a place of contentment in Christ Jesus. Selah. (Click here to read my post, “The Strength You Need To Be Content”)
From the Bible
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Phil 4:4-7 NIV
Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. – 1 Thess 4:13 NIV
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33 NIV