My wife and I have three teenagers living in our home. We had four last year because we had the privilege of hosting a young man from Mozambique as an exchange student for his senior year. My oldest daughter graduated high school last year, our exchange student graduated this year, and my son graduates next year. Our youngest is starting high school this year so we are just a few years away from another graduation. In this season of life, the looming question for these amazing young people is “what am I supposed to do with my life?” Here’s what I have found in my 43 years though. That question doesn’t go away once you graduate high school. Many of us, decades later, are still asking the same question. So what is the answer?
Regardless of the job you have or the measure of success you have experienced you may still be wondering what you are supposed to be doing with your life. If making money was fulfilling then wealthy people would be the most fulfilled people in the world. While there are some, many are just as miserable, if not more-so, than people we would consider poor. Why? There can be many reasons but one is fulfillment is found in aligning with your purpose and design not the amount of money you make. Theoretically you can paint a house with a hammer, or drive a nail with a paintbrush, just not very well. While it makes perfect sense, it gets muddled when you get paid a lot of money to drive that nail with the paintbrush. Yes, it’s hard, frustrating and awkward, but the income it provides helps motivate you to keep going. And therein lies a major problem. There is an incentive for ignoring the proper purpose of the tool and simply making the best of the situation. (Read my post Is Success Killing You?)
Wax On, Wax Off
Some of us will learn how to reinforce the handle of the paintbrush, change our technique, and even become an expert at maximizing the effectiveness of this incorrect tool for the job. This will provide a measure of purpose along the way but the questions are going to continue to loom, “why am I doing this… is this really working…what am I supposed to do with my life?” If you find yourself there then I want to offer some hope and encouragement. First, you are not alone. People of all ages are looking at their lives, their work lives in particular, and trying to determine if they are in their sweet spot or not?
- “Gallup, in its recently released State of the Global Workplace: 2022 report, found that, along with dissatisfaction, workers are experiencing staggering rates of both disengagement and unhappiness. Sixty percent of people reported being emotionally detached at work and 19% as being miserable. Only 33% reported feeling engaged — and that is even lower than 2020.In the U.S. specifically, 50% of workers reported feeling stressed at their jobs on a daily basis, 41% as being worried, 22% as sad, and 18% angry.” – Leah Collins, CNBC (linked here)
Most current statistics reflect an American will spend an average of one third of their life at work. We need to be stewarding the gifts and talents God has given us so that this third of our lives will be aligned with our purpose in partnership with the way God has designed us. Driving nails with a paintbrush or painting a house with a hammer is less than God’s best for your life. So what do you if you know your work doesn’t align with your purpose? What steps do you take if you feel you are a painter having to use a hammer or if you know you are a hammer that is having to navigate being smeared on the side of a house? (Read my post To Lead Is To Be Misunderstood)
Three Things To Help
1. Consider the gifts and abilities God has given you. Are you personable and relational but don’t work with people? Are you technically inclined and mechanically minded but are sitting in meetings all day? The gifts point to the purpose. A paintbrush has bristles on one end and a handle on the other because it is designed for you to dip it in paint and glide it along the surface of what you’re painting. The design points to the purpose. How are you wired?
2. Detach yourself from the financial benefits of being out of alignment. You may make a lot of money as an accountant or a project manager, but if these roles do not engage the gifts and talents God has given you you will be unfulfilled in your work. You’ll be back to asking “what am I supposed to do with my life?” Instead, offload debt, start reducing your expenses, and position yourself to be able to engage your design. Good pay to do something you hate is not a blessing, it is a noose.
3. Resist the urge to be idealistic. It took a while to get where you are and it may take time to position yourself to change. Just the knowledge that you are changing courses will be a tremendous encouragement to you immediately! Be sensitive to your family and coworkers and resist the temptation to think everything will be easy once you are in your sweet spot. Work is work, no matter what you do. However, it is fulfilling work when we are aligned with the way God made us, engaging our gifts and talents in a way that brings life to us and others. (Read My Post Confessions of a (Recovering) Idealist)
You Were Made On Purpose With Purpose
You were designed with intention and purpose. Any time you ask yourself, “what am I supposed to do with my life?”, remember it is a reach for the One who formed you. The Designer, alone, knows the purpose of the design He created. Ask Him to lead you and watch how God will reveal your gifts, encourage you to use them, and point you in the right direction that brings value to your work and purpose to your efforts.
Our family has been reading through a daily devotion together by Rick Warren called “Transformed: How God Changes Us” and it has been super helpful in getting you to explore these kinds of questions. Here’s a link.
From the Bible
For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. – Ephesians 2:10 ESV
…work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. – Philippians 2:12-13 ESV
Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. – 2 Corinthians 9:7 ESV