Thanks to Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash for the image.

Are Men The Problem With Everything?

Nathan SmithFamily, Relationships

Thanks to algorithms and pop culture it is almost impossible for you to have not heard about the new movie Barbie in theaters right now. I doubt Ruth Handler ever envisioned the doll she created for her daughter back in 1959 would be the source content for a giant Hollywood blockbuster in the year 2023, but here we are. There are many things I admire from what I understand of the origin story of the Barbie Doll and I can even appreciate and respect certain aspects of what I understand the film is trying to bring awareness to in its satirical storyline. But there are also symptoms of a familiar sickness I sense in this film that makes me want to challenge us all stop and ponder for a moment. Are men the problem with everything?

Our world is upset with men. If you are a man, you already know this. Men of every race and ethnicity are under attack in modern culture. Do not think I am oblivious to the wicked things men have done and are doing in the world. This will not be an article on how everyone misunderstands how wonderful all men are. However, I feel a burden to highlight what I believe to be a demonic assault against mankind, with men themselves being the highest priority target. The new Barbie movie hasn’t caused me to think this… it has given me an opportunity to present the topic because of its messaging.

Is Barbie Right About Men Or Just Ken?

In her professional review of the movie for Focus on the Family’s “PluggedIn” Emily Tsiao writes…

“The Kens of Barbieland are simpish and weak. Then they take power and become obnoxious and crass. So if Barbieland is supposed to be a reflection of the real world, then there’s no space for a man who respects women but also respects himself. And there’s also very little suggestion that men can use their strength and masculinity in selfless ways—ways that might protect and defend someone who’s genuinely vulnerable.”

Simpish (silly) and weak, obnoxious and crass, selfish and uncaring… the picture of men on the big screen for children and teens to gawk at and despise. And what does this accomplish? It accomplishes the same thing Al Bundy of Married With Children accomplished or Homer Simpson of The Simpsons cartoons accomplished. It makes us laugh at them, dismiss them, resent them, lambast them, compensate for them instead of engage them, and relegate them to the lives we’ve judged them to lead. And what of our sons? It’s been going on long enough that now many of our little boys don’t want to grow up to be men; they’d rather be women. (Read my post 3 Keys To Being a Better Family Man)

Too often in society a man is reduced to a brutish imbecile who is only good for generating money and finding ways to satisfy his basest lusts and cravings for entertainment.  Beyond that, he is also the reason for the oppression of women, of children, of decency and valor, and is likely the source for every negative feeling a person endures in life. In summary, the script seems to be men are the problem with everything. Consider a few recent book titles, I Hate Men, The End of Men, and Are Men Necessary? I’m not making this stuff up.

In her book, The Toxic War On Masculinity, Nancy Pearcey  writes…

“A media researcher named Jim McNamara conducted an extensive content analysis of more the 2,000 mass media portrayals of men, including news, feature articles, talk shows, and so on. He found that more than 75 percent of all media representations of men portrayed them as “villains, aggressors, perverts, and philanderers.”

There are clearly wicked things men have done and are doing in society. I have gone on record numerous times trumpeting the fact that sex trafficking could be ended in a single day if men everywhere adopted God’s standard as stated in the Scriptures and refused to have sex with anyone who is not their wife. No demand, no supply. However, laying blame of the evils of the word on “men in general” or labeling men the problem with everything is only going to make things worse for women, children and society, not better.

Let’s Hear It For The Boys

The solution to the ills of selfish, destructive men is not “no men”nor is it the emasculation of men, it is healthy men who know who they are in Jesus, who bring life and hope to all they encounter. This should be our aim. It is, most certainly, our call. Again, Pearcey writes…

“Our goal should be to support men in living out their innate sense of the biblical software – God’s original design for manhood. In The War Against Boys, feminist philosopher Christina Hoff Sommers writes, ‘History teaches us that masculinity without morality is lethal. But masculinity constrained by morality is powerful and constructive, and a gift to women.”

I couldn’t agree more. (Read my post Are You Strong Enough To Use Restraint?) Let’s call men into their true identity in Jesus that brings hope and healing through their unique gift of masculinity. In the same way, let us call women to the same so that the beautiful tapestry God uniquely designed to be woven together through healthy interactions of healthy men and women will produce healthy children, families, and societies. This is God’s original design. Will we adopt it or discard it?

If you are burdened by the things I’m sharing in this article I encourage you to avail yourselves of the works and writings of both Professor Nancy Pearcey and Pastor Jon Tyson of Church of the City New York. Also, pray that God would show us how to reach the hearts of broken men. Broken men lead to broken families, which leaves broken women and children in their wake. May we move towards love and reconciliation and watch God heal the hearts of broken men so they can help empower and encourage the other men, women, and children in their lives rather than cause them pain.

From the Bible

Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness…Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. – Titus 2:2,6-8 ESV

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. – Romans 12:10 ESV

So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living.Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy.Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires. – Romans 13:12-14 NLT