I would imagine it is impossible to number the songs, poems or plays that have been written about love. The idea of love is ubiquitous in societies and cultures world-wide. Love is hardwired into our souls as being of the highest order and greatest importance. The challenge is, something of such power and value is wonderful when we possess it and gut-wrenching when it is absent, or worse, taken away. Loving hearts bleed. We all know this too well. So is it worth it to “keep our love on”?
In 1850 Alfred, Lord Tennyson became England’s Poet Laureate. It was also in this year one of his most famous works, an elegy titled In Memoriam A.H.H. was published. It contains one of his more famous quotes. Perhaps you’ll recognize a couple of these lines?
I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
The Long and Winding Road
Tennyson lost one of his closest friends, Arthur Henry Hall (A.H.H.) when he was only 22 years old. This poem of mourning was written over a span of three years where Tennyson would go to process his grief, refining his thoughts and emotions through his pen. The poem, consisting of 133 sections, was released to the public seventeen years after Arthur had died. Think about that. Three years to write. Seventeen years to share. Grief and loss take a long time to process and metabolize. Loving hearts bleed. (Read my post “Good Grief”)
Whether the love we share is found in friendship or romance or patriotism it is a force which evokes strong responses. It is the hard part of love, the loss of love or a loved one, that often tempts us to turn our hearts off. This temptation comes to us purely out of fear and the desire to feel safe and protected. While it is completely understandable it has dire consequences. I would argue the pain of a closed heart harms the bearer and those around them infinitely more than the pain of a broken heart. A broken, bleeding heart can be shared with others. A hardened heart cannot.
In this most popular of stanzas in Tennyson’s elegy, he is dealing with this precise idea. He determines the pain of a broken heart is better than the hollowness of an empty heart. Another Briton, Clive Staples Lewis (C.S. Lewis) spent much time in his writings on the issues of love, joy, grief and pain. Few author’s writings on the subjects have impacted me more. In Lewis’s book The Four Loves he goes for the jugular on this issue. His words are impossible to improve upon, from my perspective, so I will simply share them here and then offer one final thought…
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
Just Like My Daddy
Loving hearts bleed. To love is to feel loss. To cherish is to mourn. The beauty of presence makes the pain of absence so acute. So, is it worth it? I cannot shout it loud enough; YES! You were made for love because you were made by Love. The Bible tells us every person was knit together in their mother’s womb by God. The psalmist even says we were “fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Read my post “Relationships Are Worth Restoring)
Whether you believe in God or not, you were made in His image and the God of the Bible, the God ofAbraham, Issac, Jacob and Jesus is the is the Great God of Love. He empowers us to love others, even when it hurts, because He FIRST loved us to the point of death on a lonely cross. Freely you have received. Freely you can give.
Loving hearts bleed, even the loving heart of God. Thankfully, He has overcome loss and despair and for those who have committed their hearts and lives to Him, there is a divine hope that He will make all things new and wipe every tear from our eyes when He comes and restores all things; especially broken hearts. Be encouraged today that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. May the God of love and restoration be with you today and always. (Read My Post “God Answers Prayer By Sending A Person”)
From the Bible:
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” – Matthew 5:4 ESV
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28 ESV
He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. – Psalm 147:3 NLT