When I was younger it never occurred to me how much the concepts of payment and attention were linked. Some of the more common phrases and questions I remember hearing in my childhood were, “pay attention” and “are you paying attention?” I guess I had a lot going on in my brain and in my world as a young man and my attention was important enough for the people around me to ensure it was secured. Now, people are paying billions of dollars for your attention. Did you realize it was that valuable? Your closest relationships do, I promise. The challenge is a regular person has to compete with billions of dollars of effort for your attention. Are you paying attention? The greater question may be, to whom are you selling or giving your attention, and at what cost?
French philosopher and mystic Simone Weil wrote, “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” Attention given is a powerful and meaningful investment. Reflect on how often kids say, “watch this,” “Mommy, look at me” or “Daddy, come here.” It can be almost without end. Why? Your attention is immensely valuable. In a relationship attention is among the most prized of gifts to be given, which is why the war for you attention is more important than you can ever imagine. Think about it for a moment. Why do you want eye contact when you are explaining something important? What you are saying is valuable to you, and you recognize the only way for the other person to truly grasp it is if they are fully paying attention.
So how do we make sure we are being generous with our attention as opposed to selling it to the highest bidder?
1. Start by Recognizing the Value of Your Attention
Awareness is often two-thirds of the issue. Think about what has your attention throughout the day. Literally, stop and “check-in” and ask yourself what REALLY has your attention. For those of you that know me personally, you know I call multi-tasking a myth. That doesn’t mean I don’t believe people can accomplish more than one thing at a time. It means, I don’t believe we can do anything well without giving it our focused attention.
In an age that wants us to believe we can be more efficient and effective if we multi-task our way through the day, I would suggest we are simply giving less than our best to most everything. Your attention is VERY valuable so treat it as such and focus it towards the people and projects that are most important to you in each moment. (Read my post Remember You Have More Than One Goal)
2. Be Mindful of What is Demanding Your Attention
We all know that the urgent things always want to overtake the important things. Stephen Covey reminded us of this in his timeless book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. If you haven’t read it, you really should. Demands on our attention are constant but they are not equal, nor should they be treated as such.
I don’t receive notifications for ANYTHING on my phone. Why? I found it constantly was demanding my attention, making me feel I owed my attention to the thing my phone decided was important. No, I decide what is important, not the little banner at the top of the screen. But it’s not just technology… our kids, our job, our spouse, deadlines, all manner of things and people can demand our attention.
Once we recognize where the demands are coming from we can try to prioritize them. If all demands are treated equally, then we are giving our valuable attention equally to our amazing little boy and the latest lightning deal form Amazon. But does paying attention to those things equally communicate they are of the same value? I’m telling you it can whether we intend it to or not. (Read my post Miles Apart in the Same Room)
3. Steward Your Attention Towards What You Value Most
Attention is associated with value. That’s why we say “pay attention”. You are paying with the currency of attention because of how valuable your attention truly is. So, managing your attention really becomes an issue of stewardship. Once you recognize its value and identify the demands placed upon it, proactively choose who and what will get your attention in a given span of time and then focus.
This has become increasingly challenging as media companies have poured more and more time, effort and money into figuring out how to retain your attention for their own profit through social media, and all forms of digital entertainment. The fight is not fair and the deck is stacked against us so if you find this to be a very challenging thing to do, let that help you realize just how real the issue is. But, by paying attention to the issues and asking the Holy Spirit to help you, you will have everything you need to match and overcome the challenge.
Don’t be discouraged. Every generation has faced its challenges and this is one of the great challenges of our generation. Know that your efforts to recognize and value your attention and steward it well will only bless you, your work, and your relationships in increasing measure. Paying attention pays dividends. Like money, you can only give it generously when you manage it well. Let us endeavor to value our attention enough so we can add value to others by paying them attention. (Read my post Do You Care Enough To Ask A Question)
From The Bible
We must pay the most careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away. – Hebrews 2:1 NIV
Know well the condition of your flocks, And pay attention to your herds; For riches are not forever, Nor does a crown endure to all generations. – Proverbs 27:23-24 NAS
Because I called and you refused, I stretched out my hand and no one paid attention;And you neglected all my advice And did not want my rebuke; – Proverbs 1:24-25 NAS