Culture is one of the most powerful natural forces in the world. It can mold, shape and influence without anyone even knowing. Culture teaches, dictates, and even enforces rules that maybe have never been discussed. The most amazing thing is each of our homes, communities, churches and work places have a culture that we may have played a major role in shaping. The questions are “do you know you are creating a culture” and “what kind of culture are you creating?” With a force so powerful perhaps we should think about it more? Maybe you’ll be more convinced if we look a little further into what culture actually is and why it is so powerful?
There are many definitions of the word so I’ll offer an aggregate in the simplest terms I can muster; culture is a mixture of expectations, celebrations, values, and social forms. Culture can be as exciting as the music of a people and the colors of their dress and as understated as the meaning of a person’s facial expression, the timing of when people sit or stand, and how people answer the basic question of “how are you today?”.
Culture serves as a guard rail to our social structures that silently expresses what is ok and not ok here. Few of us are fully aware of our own culture in our home or work place but become very aware of the cultures in other environments. Ever gone to church with someone at a place you’ve never been before? You instantly notice what they are wearing, what they talk about, when the sit, when they stand, and how they express themselves in worship. It is this kind of awareness I believe we need to have about our own daily environments because it is shaping our relationships, attitudes, and outcomes more than we could ever imagine. (Click here to read my post ‘3 Keys To Becoming a Better Family Man’)
Where Culture and Strategy Collide
I heard Bishop Paul Zink once say, “culture eats strategy for lunch” and I believe him. No matter what strategy you have for raising your kids, running your business, or educating your students the culture of the environment in which you do any of these things will overcome your best efforts at system and strategy. It doesn’t matter how amazing your system of checks and balances and employee feedback are implemented in your office if the underlying culture is one where everyone knows it’s not safe to say what you really think or you’ll get fired! In those places all the feedback sounds great! Then everyone leaves and the boss is wondering what gives?!
Likewise, it doesn’t matter how many options you give your kids on where to go for dinner if the underlying culture in your home is you better choose what doesn’t make Mom upset! Those kids were given a ‘choice’ they knew wasn’t real. In both cases the person in charge can think they are doing a great job of letting their kids or employees provide honest feedback for the benefit of the family or business. However, the truth is, the culture is dictating what is acceptable and unacceptable so the feedback isn’t real! Great system, bad culture. So what do we do? (Click here to read my post ‘Nobody Knows What They Are Doing’)
Creating a Culture of Honesty Starts With Being Honest
No one is great at evaluating themselves objectively. We tend to skew things towards our intentions rather than the reality of our practices. So, sit with a trusted friend and ask them what your values are and then listen to them. Yes, ask them what YOUR values are and do not give them any hints. The truth is, if they do not see in your life the things you say are so important to you then they are not as important to you as you say they are! Don’t get a complex, just realize you have some work to do! Some of us WANT to value honesty in our environments but what we actually value (based on our actions, attitudes and behaviors) is conformity to what we think is best. Guess what shapes culture more, your desires, or your actions, attitudes and behaviors?
Own your mistakes. Do it publicly. In doing so, you’ll start creating a culture that says ‘it is safe to make a mistake here’ and that is important since everyone makes mistakes. However, saying it is ok to make a mistake then no one in leadership ever admitting they’ve made a mistake creates a culture of “say good sounding things, just don’t do them.” The dinner table is that place for our family, and I always go first. At the end of the day, the most basic fundamental for leadership is, leaders go first. That doesn’t mean they are the smartest, or most qualified. It just means they have the courage to go first. Want to create a better culture in your family, lead and don’t expect everyone to follow immediately. Culture takes time to create. (Click here to read my post ‘God Answers Prayers By Sending A Person’)
What kind of culture are you creating in your home or business? It is an overflow of who you are. So, be the first to admit your faults, the first to highlight the contributions of another, and the first to recognize that you learned something you didn’t know. In so doing, you will create a culture that will spread through your home, church and business that communicates your true values. And that is a great place to live, serve and grow.
From the Bible
Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. -1 Corinthians 11:1-2 ESV
See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. – Colossians 2:8 ESV
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. – Romans 12:1-2 ESV